Everything else. (If you're not sure where to post, post it in here)
#1214
THE BLONDE FROM ALABAMA

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive, busty
blonde woman from Alabama arrives and bet twenty-thousand dollars on
a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."
With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, baby....
Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... And squealed... "YES!

YES! I WON! I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers... And then picked up her winnings and her clothes,and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching the dice!."

Moral ---


Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But, all men..... Are still men.
#1249
I'm not in grump mode. Enlightenment is the intent. The following isn't a dig at anyone's post style. No. I promise.

One question mark makes something a question. Adding another - is that asking whether a question was asked? It never ceases to amaze me that people think adding multiple exclamation marks makes something more - er - amazing, and similarly, multiple question marks don't make something more unknown or unfathomable.

That's some shit that I know.

What's more, it took me three attempts to get English O-level yet I outscored by far all the managers at work in an English comprehension exercise during their Plain English campaign. The fact that some were Welsh wasn't a factor.

Also, I can't see the image. The post is just the text. I had to go to edit mode in order to see the link, correctly formatted, so a problem here. Maybe AdblockPlus.

Have a joke to prove I'm not grumpy:

I went to see my doctor yesterday. He told me I'd have to stop masturbating. I asked him "why?". "Because I'm trying to examine you.".
#1250
loughor wrote:
Sun Jul 02, 2017 1:22 pm
I'm not in grump mode. Enlightenment is the intent. The following isn't a dig at anyone's post style. No. I promise.

One question mark makes something a question. Adding another - is that asking whether a question was asked? It never ceases to amaze me that people think adding multiple exclamation marks makes something more - er - amazing, and similarly, multiple question marks don't make something more unknown or unfathomable.

That's some shit that I know.

What's more, it took me three attempts to get English O-level yet I outscored by far all the managers at work in an English comprehension exercise during their Plain English campaign. The fact that some were Welsh wasn't a factor.

Also, I can't see the image. The post is just the text. I had to go to edit mode in order to see the link, correctly formatted, so a problem here. Maybe AdblockPlus.

Have a joke to prove I'm not grumpy:

I went to see my doctor yesterday. He told me I'd have to stop masturbating. I asked him "why?". "Because I'm trying to examine you.".
Which one? Both are linked from Failbook
#1271
I'm sure some people won't know how to use it properly and there will be faeces all over the place. Also, I have seen that video a couple of weeks ago, but failed to post it here
#1272
Faff.

There shouldn't be enough water in the cistern to overflow a blocked toilet (they think about these things) in a single flush, so don't panic if it hits the rim and try to flush it again as soon as the cistern fills again, or it will overspill.

Leave it for a while.
Unless you've shit silicon sealant, the water level will slowly drop.

When it has..
Fill a bucket or large pot with clean water and tip it heavily into the bowl from as high as you can manage and it should hammer through the blockage. (1 Litre of water = 1Kg at rest, but has a far larger force when dropped from height..lets say almost 3x @ 1.5m for arguments sake)
If it doesn't blast through it, stop pouring, let the water level drop and then try again later. ;)
#1288
A Politician, a TV Reporter and a British soldier were captured
by ISIS.

They were as usual, sentenced to death by beheading.

Unexpectedly, the ISIS leader said they could each have one last request
before sentence was carried out.

The Politician asked to have his expenses claim posted into westminster.

The Reporter asked that the beheading be televised so that even when she was
dead her face would be on TV.

The Trooper asked to be kicked three times up the arse.

As the trooper's was such an unusual request ISIS decided to carry this out first, and as the last kick landed, the Trooper pulled a hidden 9 mm pistol out of his smock, shot three terrorists dead, grabbed one of their fallen AK47s and shot dead
the rest of the terrorists.

The other two prisoners were amazed, and asked why he requested to be
kicked three times before drawing his gun.

"Because", said the Trooper, “when we get back to the UK I don’t want you
pair of arseholes saying it was an unprovoked attack !”
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